Eric Merced

New Art From an Artist who wasn't Feeling So Artistic

It's been a while. Maybe too long. Much longer than I thought it would be. But I've finally gotten myself around to drawing something, anything.

This has been the longest creative drought I've had, ever. And it sucked. For a time. Actually, it got to a point where I didn't really care. It got to a point where I said, if it's going to happen, then it will, if not, whatever. And for all of you going through your personal artistic droughts, I'm not going to do something pointless like writing one of those "5 Things to Breakout of Artist Block" posts, instead, I'll say, do your thing, whatever that may be.

For me, it was giving up on the struggle to force myself to draw and put those efforts into something else. I was feeling guilty every time I tried to draw and couldn't. So instead of torturing myself, I took the time to focus on something else like music. I began playing my guitar more and singing. That helped. It helped to ease the tension of not drawing and helped me refocus my creativity. It helped me realize that, while I do enjoy art, it's ok if I don't make any. It helped me realize that there are other avenues I can take towards being creative.

This also happened during a period where I had just gotten a promotion at my day job. A promotion that leaves less time for art. So the days of freelance work are behind me. Which means, that if I am to create anything from here on, I'm going to 100% be creating it for me. And that's HUGE.

See, before this promotion, I drew with the intent of, eventually, getting paid work. And that worked. Although not as well as I was hoping it would because, although work did come in, it came in at an unsteady pace. I couldn't afford to take care of my family on this pace. So the day job was essential because this is where I made 90% of my living. This is why when the new position was offered up to me, it was a no brainer. This was going to be the best desicion for myself and more importantly, for my family. I knew the cons of having less time to draw. But I also knew the pros, that the little time I would have to draw, would not be wasted on trying to impress potential Clients, but well spent on doing work that first and foremost, I enjoyed.

But, I'm going to be honest, getting back to drawing wasn't easy. I knew I had to. But it wasn't easy. So after starting the new position and settling in, I started to try and get back to it. I managed to draw an image of The Joker which left me feeling empty. I felt nothing. No joy. No feeling of accomplishment. I felt nothing for the image. I didn't like it nor did I hate it. Still, I pushed on. And I next drew a sketch of Marty McFly from Back To The Future (don't ask me why I chose that as a subject). And suddenly, a little spark in the darkness. I took hold of that spark and, while I'm not going to say the flames are brightly burning once again, I will say, I'm feverishly fanning the flames in hopes of rekindling that fire.

Thanks for reading.